Things I Will Never Do Nor Say Again.....

Pregnancy has opened my eyes to an entire new world: The world of "Things You Should Never Do or Say To a Pregnant Woman."

Here are a few that I've experienced:

1. Touching the "Baby Bump"
This is so uncomfortable! I heard a good thing to say to people that try to touch your stomach.

"I'm sorry. I've just come in contact with radioactive materials, so you probably shouldn't touch me."

I'm okay with close friends and relatives, but I don't appreciate coworkers, acquaintances from church, or absolute strangers just rubbing me down. Unless I'm paying them for a professional massage, I don't want that barrier to be crossed.

2. "Your tummy is SOOOO big!"
Heard this little winner just this morning from a student at our school. The perpetrator was an adult woman with children of her own.

She should know better.

 I don't care if my stomach should be on a list at the Intergalactic Planet Registry. If you can't lie about how stinking little and cute I am and how you can't believe that I am already that far along, DON'T SAY ANYTHING! Now is not the time to make a woman feel horrible about herself and her expanding waistline.

3. "That is nothing.....back when I was pregnant....."
Okay Brian Regan, I understand that your 8 wisdom tooth tale is much better than mine, but I still want to tell you about it!

I get the fact that some women have difficult pregnancies and that makes them feel superior to everyone else, but that doesn't mean the rest of us aren't struggling! I will never discredit the difficulties that each woman goes through to have babies. Besides, whether someone is on bed rest for 8 months or she just gets a little indigestion after a couple meals, they all should get a little sympathy. That is all anyone is looking for anyway.

4. "Oh! You're waddling like a little duck!"
"Thanks! You tromp around like an elephant."

I heard this one at church on Sunday. And no, I did not actually say that reply. That would have been hurtful.

Actually, I'd gone on a ridiculously difficult hike the day before (I had no business trying to take on that mountain.....) and I was very stiff and sore. So yes, I was waddling, but it wasn't pregnancy related like she thought. Frankly, I don't care. Don't tell me I'm walking like a duck.

5. (My favorite) "Are You Pregnant?"
The first person that asked me this had stared at my stomach for a good 15 seconds before voicing her question. I was only about 3-4 months along, looking like I might have just eaten a large lunch, and I was very irritated.

So I told her no.

And then I just watched her flounder.

This might have bordered on cruel, but I still have a difficult time dredging up any remorse.


And that just about wraps up my list. I'm sure there have been other irritating things throughout this experience, but these are the ones that have really stuck with me. I promise, I will never do/say these things to a pregnant woman for the rest of my life.

Cross my heart.